Thursday, March 24, 2016

The Nitpicker's Guide to Star Trek Into Darkness Part 3

Okay the stupid twist has been revealed so why does the film keep getting worse?

So Khan was trying to smuggle out of his crew in the torpedoes.  So if he got access to his crew why didn’t he just wake them up and takeover everything then?  And why did he have every reason to suspect his crew was dead?  Obviously Marcus didn’t kill anyone as a show of strength because when Khan asks how many torpedoes there are and gets 72 as an answer he surrenders.  And why would he surrender anyway?  Did he think Marcus would just keep his crew in the torpedoes?

You know I am so not buying Khan’s tears at the loss of his supposed family.  Maybe it’s the wrench this throws into continuity or that I’ve come to enjoy Benedict’s anti-social I hate everyone and everything portrayal of Sherlock Homes, but I don’t just care about his speech at all.

Marcus makes a black starship really?  What the hell is this a Western? 

Hey Kirk is putting up shields and broadcasting ship wide so they have tons of witnesses.  I like 

“Can you imagine what would happen if he woke up the rest of his crew?”  Implying that the other 72 people are genetically engineered just as Khan is.  Let’s keep that in mind for later.

The comms are down now?  Well boy I hope someone has a communicator.  And hey why are the comms down?  The ship hasn’t received any new damage yet.

So Marcus catches up with them at warp and so begins the next big action scene.

Sulu says they are 237,000 Km from Earth and yet they are right next to the moon that according to quick Google search is 370,300 km away from Earth.  Not one person did any research before putting this together did they?

Wait how can Uhura hail the Vengeance I thought the comms were down?   

I like Carol’s speech I just wish there wasn’t a giant lens flare obscuring the screen so I could see her expression better.

There are no aft torpedoes on the Enterprise bridge.  There aren’t torpedoes anywhere near the bridge.

Why is Scotty just resetting the systems now after the Enterprise has taken massive damage?  Where was he when they were traveling at warp? 

“We cannot fire and we cannot flee.”

Hey I know since comms have magically started working again how about you hail spacedock and tell them what the hell is going on!

“The enemy of my enemy is my friend.”

“An Arabic proverb attributed to a prince who was betrayed and decapitated by his own subjects.”

Nice exchange movie gets a point.  

“Bones, what are you doing with that tribble?”

And movie loses the point.  I mean there was some tension building with Kirk wanting to use his leap before you look attitude towards something constructive and his and Khan’s exchange and you just ruined it for the sake of referencing.  Won’t be the last time this happens either.  Also what the hell is injecting platelets into said dead tribble going to do?  Platelets are the components of blood that help it to clot you can’t very well do that with blood that isn’t moving.

“You want me to open an airlock into space where upon I will freeze, die, and explode.”

I love Scotty.

Why would Spock think contacting New Vulcan is the logical option here?  I mean we see that they are in range of Earth.  Everyone at Spacedock should be able to see this battle.  There are sensors on Earth that should be able to pick up these two ships, and what the hell is everyone on the moon base doing during all this?!   

I’ll ignore that Sulu shouldn’t be able to align the ships like that with only using force on one side thanks to Newton’s laws of motion, because the original show somehow managed to put brakes on a starship.

The cargo bay door is 4 meters square tops and yet Scotty just had to sprint through the humongous cargo bay.  Number one why do you even need a huge cargo bay when you’re a ship designed entirely for combat.  Number two what the hell are you bringing on this ship that fits through that tiny door and needs all that space once it’s on the ship?  

How has no one picked up on the debris field?  Does no one on and around Earth do any scans?  Especially after Nero’s attack you’d think CONSTANT VIGILANCE! Would be a thing. 

Don’t use the silence in space thing guys your film isn’t enough of a think piece to warrant it.

Why the hell is McCoy on the bridge watching them go over?  Shouldn’t he be dealing with all the injured crew members from the hull breach?

Kirk and Khan flying through the debris looks like it belongs in a video game and that’s probably the only reason it’s here.  Too bad the last licensed game sucked and we didn’t get a game for this movie.

“Mister Spock.”

“Mister Spock.”

Oh man Leonard’s Nimoy’s cameo is so bittersweet.  Sweet in that I can see the craft and dignity he was still bringing to Spock even with this small part.  Karl Urban has even said that when they were filming this scene Nimoy came to the set to give his lines even though they already had his scene filmed and could have just played it back for the actors.  He wanted to be there to give the job the effort it deserved and I respect that so much I can’t put it into words.  Now of course it’s bitter in that this is the last time we will see him play Spock on screen and unfortunately I have to say that I think this scene serves no purpose in the film other than referencing.  If Uhura can get a hold of New Vulcan then surely they can get in contact with someone who could actually help them here and now.  Spock calling Kahn by his full name and saying they defeated him at great cost is only meaningful to those of us who have seen Wrath of Khan.  It’s deliberately done to invoke that film.  To make us connect better because we know more than the characters do.  Or at least those of us who have seen the old canon understand what’s going on.  Those who came to see this film, because ‘it’s not your father’s Star Trek’ are shit out of luck aren’t they?  Once again we have to stand on the old canon like a crutch, because they won't take risks and build up this new universe properly.    

As to the potential of the third film having Spock Prime in it in an earlier version of the script I was not enthused for this very reason.  I felt that the filmmakers were still leaning on him as a marketing ploy.  Look we have Leonard Nimoy and possibly William Shatner too!  We’re legitimate please see our movie!  Now I’m sorry he won’t be there.  If Spock Prime was not in the third film I wanted that to be because creatively he had no reason to be there.  I never wanted it to be because he couldn’t be there.  I actually hope the next film makes no reference to this at all, outside of a dedication to Mr. Nimoy, because I like to think that there are stories left to be told of Spock Prime.  Just as I like to think that back in the Prime timeline Admiral McCoy is still there yelling at new doctors to get off his lawn.  Just because the actor is gone doesn’t mean the character dies.   
Continued in Part 4

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